Tell A Joke Day: Dog And Cat Jokes To Make You Smile

  Posted on August 16, 2016  by Joy of Living  No comments

Today is Tell A Joke Day.  Laughter is truly the best medicine, so with that thought in mind, here are some fun dog and cat jokes we found on the Humane Society of Pasco County Inc. website

Dog Jokes

Why do dogs run in circles? Because it’s hard to run in squares!

This next one captures the perspectives of various dog breeds pretty well:

How many Dogs does it take to Change a Light Bulb?
Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a circle…
Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
German Shepard: Alright, everyone stop where you are! Who broke the light bulb? I SAID, “STOP WHERE YOU ARE!!!”
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a light bulb?
Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
Jack Russell: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.
Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Make me.

Cat Jokes

This one is reminiscent of David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists:

The Top Ten Signs your Cat Needs a Diet
10. The Cat door was retro-fitted with garage door opener.
9. House guests confuse your cat for beanbag chair.
8. No longer cleans himself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
7. Luxurious, shiny black fur has been replaced with mint green polyester pants suit.
6. It’s no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
5. Your two-year-old son sees the Pillsbury Dough Boy and is convinced it’s the cat.
4. Waits for the third bowl of food before getting finicky.
3. He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
2. An enormous gut keeps your floors freshly buffed.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Overweight…
1. He has more chins than lives.

What grade did the cat get on his test? A Purr-fect score! (of course!)

On this Tell A Joke Day do your best to make someone smile!